Feelings on My Arm
by stylewriter565
Summary: Satoshi is having some problems will the Morinozukas be able to help him?
1. Chapter 1

Satoshi sat outside the dojo. He was by himself but he knew he needed someone. He needed his brother and a really good therapist. He needed to talk to Takashi, to tell him about the emotions that had been going through him lately. But most of all Satoshi had to tell Takashi about his secret, the one he had kept hidden for months now. As if his brother could read thoughts Satoshi looked up to see his brother coming down the path. Satoshi tried to clear his eyes. He had been crying because he did not know what to do anymore.

Takashi was walking down the path and saw his little brother sitting quietly outside wiping his eyes. Takashi sidled over worried about his brother the whole way. 'What could be wrong with him? Why is he sitting still?' A million questions were running through Mori's head. When he got there he took a seat also.

"Hey there Satoshi what's up? I don't think I have ever seen you sit this still," Takashi said.

"Taka-bro can I talk to you about something?" Satoshi asked his stomach knotting.

"Of course you can talk to me about anything," Takashi looked with worry at his little brother.

"I can't keep going on like this Taka- bro. I can't keep pretending I'm OK. I'm not. Far from it actually. I need help Takashi, serious help. Please don't be angry," Satoshi said rolling up his sleeve.

Mori looked at what he saw and his face fell. There were cuts on his brother's arms some fresh.

"Satoshi," he said getting the kids attention," I am not mad. You will get the help you need but we have to tell dad."

"No please don't tell him ," Satoshi begged pulling his sleeve down.

"Don't tell me what?" Akira's voice came. He had been walking toward the gardens for some meditation when he heard the voices of his sons coming from the dojo.

"Can you tell him for me?" Satoshi asked looking at his big brother.

"Yes. Dad Satoshi has informed me that he needs help. And he needs to get it."

"What kind of help? Are you doing OK son?" Akira asked sitting down next to his son.

"No dad I'm not fine I need psychological help," Satoshi said pulling up his sleeve to show his dad what had happened.

"What for… Oh Satoshi," Akira said looking at his child's arms. He took his child in his arms and hugged him. "Let's go into the house, OK? We need to tell your mother and she should be back from her errands soon." He felt his son nod into his chest. They got up together and started to head towards the house. Mori and Akira exchanged a glance that asked the other what they were going to do to help the youngest member of their family.

The three men made their way up to the house and somehow found themselves in the kitchen. Satoshi plopped down in a chair and started to cry again. Mori put his arm around Satoshi and rubbed his back.

"Hey there, we are here for you, OK? " Mori said as worry crossed his face. 'What would make him do this? How can I help him?' Mori thought.

Akira had found himself making tea. He made a cup for himself and then looked at Satoshi and Takashi. Takashi looked up at him and silently communicated that they did not need tea. After Akira was done making his tea he came over to the table and sat down. He looked at his two sons and touched Satoshi's hand. Satoshi looked up.

"What Dad?" he asked with no emotion in his voice. Just then the kitchen door opened and someone walked in. Fuyuko. Satoshi quickly dried his eyes on his sleeve as his mother finished sending a text to one of her friends. Satoshi looked over at his father and then at his brother with his eyes full of one question: How is Mom going to take this?' Akira squeezed his hand and gave him a weak smile. Mori gave his shoulder a pat and a squeeze. Fuyuko looked up from her phone and saw three people that she did not expect.

"What are you three doing in here? Satoshi what is wrong?" Fuyuko asked concerned. She saw the worry on her husband and eldest son's faces. She had also noticed the swollen and red eyes of her youngest son. Her mother's intuition told her something was seriously wrong. She caught herself on the counter and waited for someone to tell her what was wrong.

"Mom, I am so sorry," Satoshi said crying. The tears were rolling down his face and unable to stop.

"What happened?" She whispered through the knot forming in her throat.

Mori pulled out a chair and told his mother to sit before he pulled up the sleeve on his brother's arm, "He needs our help."

Everyone watched her eyes grow and the tears form, "What happened? Who did that to you?"

"I-I did it to myself," Satoshi choked out.

"No, you couldn't have done that. Why would you do that?" His mother cried.

"It made me feel better. I don't know," he cried. He felt his brothers arms go around him and pull him into a strong embrace.

"My baby, why?" She asked as she stood up and made her way to her son. She needed to hold her baby. She wanted to make him feel better, but was at a loss as to how to fix this. She was the mother, she was supposed to be able to make everything better, but she knew that a kiss and telling him it will be alright would not make this better. She grabbed onto both of her boys and did not want to let them go.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I do not own OHSHC. Here is the second chapter biggest thanks to mcangel1976 for all the help with everything.**

The Morinozukas had talked it over the day before and decided that finding the best help for Satoshi was the right answer. And although it was the best option it didn't make Mori feel any less nervous about what he had to do that day. The family had agreed that Mori should ask Kyoya for a recommendation, after all his family did run all the hospitals. SO today Mori walked alone with a nervous stride to Music Room Three. He did not want to face the Shadow King of the Host Club even though it was not going to be that big of a deal. He went into the music room and found that the only two people there were Haruhi and Kyoya.

"Hey Mori-senpai," Haruhi said looking up to see the tall man. It was odd to see him not accompanied by his shorter counterpart, but she figured Hunny was somewhere else and that Mori wanted to talk to one of them about something so she went back to her work.

"Kyoya I need to talk to you about something, in private," Mori said looking at the Vice President.

"That is fine. Haruhi could you leave for a moment while we talk for a bit?" Kyoya asked, but more told the girl. She got up leaving her books at the table and left the two men alone in the room to talk.

"Kyoya I need your help," Mori started, "It's Satoshi. My family and I found out yesterday that he was injuring himself and we decided that I should come to you to see if you have any recommendations."

"I will see who the best fit is for your brother, Mori-senpai," Kyoya said touching the senior's shoulder. He had never seen Mori this nervous before and he was worried for the man. Kyoya decided that he would use club time to find the best doctor for Satoshi. He still couldn't believe it though. That the seemingly happy, energetic kid could be hurting himself, and over what?

All through club Kyoya typed, sighed, and took calls outside of the club room to find a suitable doctor for Satoshi. He was exhausted by the time that the club was over but he had found two top doctors, a psychiatrist and a therapist for Satoshi. He decided that he would ask to talk to Mori alone after the ladies had left.

"Mori-senpai can I talk to you about something alone for a moment?" Kyoya asked at the end of club when everyone had left. The other hosts looked a bit shocked when the pair walked out of the room and headed down the hall.

Once far enough away and in an empty classroom Kyoya turned to Mori and began to talk.

"I have found two doctors that will be helpful to your brother. One of them will do the evaluation and prescribe medications; the second will do the therapy portion of it by talking things through with your brother and trying to understand why and when he started doing this. I hope that it all goes well for you. Here are their numbers. Please do not hesitate to call if you need anything else," Kyoya said handing Mori a slip of paper with two phone number on it. Each number had a name to go along with it.

"Thank you so much," Mori said to Kyoya knowing that that didn't even begin to describe how much gratitude he felt. Kyoya walked away out of the classroom as Mori whipped out his phone. He sent a mass text to his mother, brother, and father telling them that Kyoya had found a doctor. The family agreed through a lot of texting that they would try to make an appointment with the psychiatrist for the next day.

_(FOMA)_

The next day the whole family piled into the car to go to the evaluation. There was tension in the car, but no one was mad everyone was just very nervous. The most nervous person in the car was Satoshi. He was fidgeting in his seat. Satoshi looked at all the members of his family. He didn't want to tell them that he was extremely scared, but he assumed that it was written all over his face. He took a deep breath and everyone's heads turned in his direction.

"I'm really scared," he whispered. Even at a whisper the car was so quiet that everyone had heard what he said, "I don't know if I can do this."

He felt his brothers arms wrap around him. No one said anything and he figured that was because no one knew what to say. His brother's hug though did give him strength to keep on going. He had wanted this. He was the one that had asked for help and now that he was about to get it he couldn't back out.

The car arrived at the building where the appointment was to take place. Mori felt his brother tense.

"It's going to be Ok," Mori said giving his brother another squeeze. The family walked into the building and went to the receptionist desk.

"Satoshi Morinozuka," Akira said when the receptionist asked who was being evaluated.

"Please sit over there and someone will be with you shortly," she said pointing to the waiting area. The family went and sat down, but they did not have to wait long the doctor to come and get them.

"I would like to speak to Satoshi alone first," the doctor said as the whole family made to stand up. Satoshi looked nervous, but with a small push from his brother he was on his way down a hall following the doctor. After a period of time Satoshi and the doctor came back and asked to speak with just the parents and then after them just Mori. Satoshi didn't want his brother to leave again. He didn't want to be alone again, but he knew that his brother was not going to be gone forever. After a little while just the doctor came out and Satoshi's heart jumped. The doctor called the whole family back and everyone went in together.

"So I have evaluated your son and I have talked with all of you about things that have been going on. He seems to have underlying depression so I want to prescribe some anti-depressants. Here is the script. One of them twice a day. If you have any questions do not hesitate to call. I suggest you get the prescription filled and start tonight. Have a good day," the doctor said and showed them to the door.

Satoshi was nervous as they went down to the car. Anti-depressants? Was he really that messed up? Satoshi did admit silently to himself that he had been feeling uncontrollably down in the dumps lately. He figured though if that was what the doctor had prescribed then he would give it a go. No hurt in trying to get better if it meant taking more drugs. He looked at his family and all of them were silent. He really didn't want it to be silent. He wanted them to be happy and laughing and being themselves. He didn't want to be the cause of them getting all touchy around him.

"Hey guys why aren't you talking?" Satoshi asked looking at his family. They all looked back at him. Finally Akira was the one to speak and he didn't quite know how to put what he was going to say.

"Sorry son, we were just thinking. We love you and we want the best for you. I hope you know that we are here for you and if you need anything, you can come to us anytime. We just want to help you get better," Akira said hoping he had not crossed some sort of line. He was worried. He really didn't know how to help his son or what the best way to do that would be, but he would not abandon him when Satoshi needed him the most.

Satoshi leaned his head on his brother's shoulder getting lost in thought and not noticing that the car was still quiet. He was just thinking about everything that had happened. 'What if I relapse and start cutting again? How am I going to deal with this? _Am_ I going to be able to deal with this? What happens if I can't deal with it, what then?'

**A/N: thanks to mcangel1976 for the help on this chapter. Will Sato be able to deal? Please R&R**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: SO here is chapter three of FOMA. Thanks to all the help that mcangel1976 has given! And thank you to all of those who have reviewed this story! I don't own any Ouran. Although if I could steal Kyouya's card that might change ^^**

Satoshi was nervous. It was his first day with the therapist and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he would like this person if they would understand what he was going through. His big brother was with him. That made Satoshi feel stronger. Satoshi looked out the window of the car thinking. When they had scheduled the appointments Satoshi had realized that he would have to skip Karate club in order to go. He didn't mind though. His mental health was far more important and he knew that. They pulled up to the building and Satoshi tensed. He looked at his brother. Satoshi was scared out of his mind and he felt his stomach forming knots, almost to the point where he thought he was going to throw up.

"Breathe," his brother's voice came from beside him.

"Taka what if they don't understand me? What if they can't help?" Satoshi asked very worried.

"Easy little brother, they will be able to help you. Just breathe," Mori said rubbing comforting circles on his back. Takashi silently admitted to himself that he had been thinking about his brother's first appointment and if the therapist that they had decided on was the right one. He hoped so. His brother needed the therapist to be good. Mori also knew though that it was in a moment like this when he had to be strong for his brother. Satoshi needed him and he would always be there. He looked at his little brother and they silently communicated that it was time to go in.

'This is so terrifying,' Satoshi thought to himself as he felt the hand of his brother guiding him to the building. 'I don't know if I want to do this. The evaluation, that was just to see if there was an underlying mental problem and such. This, this will actually delve into those thoughts in my mind that I have wanted to keep hidden.' He didn't know if he was ready to admit to those feelings.

"Baby steps brother. Remember to breathe," Mori said from his little brother's side. He heard Satoshi take a shaky breath. They walked into the building and took the elevator to the top floor. Soon Satoshi was being called back by whom he supposed was his doctor and they walked back to a room together. Satoshi found himself a little bit panicked that his older brother was not there with him and would not be able to help him out. They got to the room and Satoshi had a seat in one of the very comfortable chairs. The doctor sat down across from him.

"Hello I am Dr. Yazu," the man said looking at the kid across from him. He could tell the kid was a bit nervous. Yazu hoped that after a while the kid would learn to trust him.

"Satoshi," Satoshi said feeling very nervous. He wasn't sure about this at all. He was nervous and he didn't know what to do. 'Is it normal to be this nervous? Is it just something that is happening to me?' Satoshi thought.

"Don't worry. It's OK to be nervous so let's just talk for a while and get to know each other," he said seeing Satoshi relax a little bit.

"So what do you like to do for fun Satoshi?" Yazu asked. It was a good question to get things started and get the person talking.

"Well I like to practice Kendo. I also do like walking in our gardens. They are very relaxing. And they are also peaceful. My older brother is fun to hang out with too," Satoshi said looking at the therapist across from him.

"I can tell you really look up to your older brother. What do you think about him? About your parents?"

"Huh? My parents and Taka? I love them to death. They are really good people and I know they want to help. I just feel bad that I have to put them in this situation. And Taka is just awesome. I wanna be like him someday."

" So what about school? Do you like school?" the therapist asked.

"Yea I used to like school. My favorite subject is math. But I've kinda lost interest in school you know?" Satoshi asked resting his head on his palm. They were starting to wade into territory that he didn't want to go into. He knew he had to though.

"I see. So do you have a lot of friends at school?" Yazu asked looking at Satoshi. Something had changed with the kid in front of him after that last question.

"Yeah I have a fair amount of friends. I am captain of the Kendo team. So a lot of the guys on the team are my friends."

"Who is you best friend would you say. Out of all the guys on the team?" Yazu asked looking at Satoshi.

"I don't have a best friend anymore," Satoshi said looking at Yazu. He didn't want to admit that he hated Chika, but he had to. He had to be truthful about everything that was going on with him. He was curious about Yazu though too. Before Satoshi could stop it the question tumbled out of his mouth, "Why do you potentially waste your time on people like me?"

"Because I don't think it is a waste of time. I think it is important to talk about these things and find what is troubling the person. Then I try to help them get through whatever may be causing the thoughts or feelings they are having. And I don't consider that a waste of time," Yazu said smiling inwardly to himself. It was good that Satoshi had begun to loosen up even if it was just this little bit.

"I see, that's interesting," Satoshi said drumming his fingers on his jawline.

"SO why are you here?" Yazu asked.

"I've been cutting myself. To get rid of stress and stuff. It's just how I deal with things," Satoshi said his stomach knotting.

"So how did this all begin?" Yazu asked. He saw the kid visibly tense and knew they were entering a territory that Satoshi didn't want to touch. This was important though. It would help Yazu determine what he could do to help Satoshi.

"Do you have to know…." Satoshi trailed off feeling his stomach knot up. Yazu nodded. Satoshi took a deep breath and decided that he had to do it. He took a deep breath and then started into how he came to be a cutter.

_(Flashback)_

_There was a new girl in school. Her name was Hana. She had come into the school in the middle of the year so she was very popular. Not to mention she was extremely pretty. All the boys liked her, including me. She was in my class and she sat between me and my friend Chika. She was nice to us and soon we started to develop stronger feelings for her. I didn't say anything to Chika because I figured there was some sort of mutual thing between us that we would consult with one another before doing anything with a girl. I was really surprised when I saw them one day together alone in the courtyard. Then I heard it, Chika asked out Hana. And she said yes. I was so angry. I called the car and I went home. I burst through the door in a rage. I was angry at Chika and I was angry at myself. I stormed through the house knowing that I was the only one there. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water to calm myself. I went to the cupboard and got the glass. I was so angry as I stormed over to the fridge to get some water from the dispenser. I pushed hard on the dispenser almost breaking it off its place on the fridge. I took a sip of the water and my rage didn't go down. I decided to talk out loud about it because that always seemed to help in the past._ _Satoshi decided to talk out loud about it because that always seemed to help._

_ "What the hell is wrong with you Yasuchika? Couldn't you get my hints? Couldn't you see how much I wanted to date her too? Why didn't you give me the chance? You never give me a goddamn chance you selfish bastard. What the hell is wrong with you? WHY CANT I EVER HAVE ANYTHING THAT I WANT? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET IT?" I yelled slamming the glass down hard, too hard. It shattered on the counter. A shard came down and cut my forearm. I immediately ran to get a paper towel to stop the bleeding. Once I got the paper towel I put hard pressure on the cut for a minute, still angry as hell. Once I thought it had stopped bleeding I pulled the paper towel away to inspect the cut. Something then happened that I did not expect, I felt calm. When I saw the blood I felt human I felt relaxed Ifelt, better._

_(End flashback)_

Satoshi finished his description and hung his head letting a few tears drip down his face. He wished his big brother was there for him. To comfort him and tell him that everything was going to be OK. Satoshi knew though that he had to face this right now and he knew that even if he couldn't do it he had to try his best.

"I see. So it started by complete accident. You never consciously chose to start this you just got stressed, broke a glass, and then when you saw the blood it made you feel better so you continued to do it after that?" Yazu asked slightly intrigued by the young man in front of him. He had never had a patient where this kind of thing started purely on accident.

"Yeah that's right," Satoshi said.

"Ok, one more question if you don't mind?" Yazu asked and Satoshi shook his head, "What do you want to accomplish with me?"

"I want to try to stop. I want to stop hurting myself and I want to know what I keep thinking that makes me keep hurting myself," Satoshi said. That really was what he hoped to achieve with these sessions. He hoped that was all for the day. He couldn't take anymore.

"Well it looks like we have run out of time. I will see you here same time next week, OK?" Yazu said looking at the kid in front of him. Satoshi nodded and walked out of the room and down the hall to where his brother was waiting.

"Ready to go?" Mori asked looking at his little brother. Satoshi nodded and as he looked at his brother he saw that there was some concern written there.

"That sure was a hell of a ride in there and this is just the first week. I can't imagine what he rest is going to be like," Satoshi said. He knew though that whatever he was going to go through his big brother would be there to help him along the way.

**A/N: SO I hope you guys all enjoyed. Another chapter should be posted soon since it is already formulating in my head as I write this author's note. As always R&R!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So here is chapter four of FOMA. I don't own Ouran. Thanks to everyone who has helped throughout this story! **

Satoshi lay outside in the grass. He was looking up at the cherry trees they had in the garden. It was so peaceful there , just looking up into the sky and not worrying about anything for the time being. As he looked up a blossom fell off the tree and landed on his face. He picked up the flower and looked at it studying it for a moment. It was beautiful and the petals were soft to the touch. He looked up at the tree again and sighed. They were an uncommonly beautiful flower. He was the one that had fallen off the tree, he was the flower that was in his hand. It made him feel some sort of happiness and some sort of sadness at the same time. He was happy because he knew that he was trying to get back up there, he was trying to get back to himself. It made him sad to think that it was possible that even after he went through all of this, even after he had gone through all the therapy and did his best and tried to think differently and stop cutting; after all that, he would still be missing his best friend. He wouldn't have Chika beside him any longer, his best friend wouldn't be there for him, to support him, to talk to him.. Satoshi let a tear run down his face as he looked at the flower in his hand. He blew on the flower and watched as it sailed away free as anything just going with the current of the wind, maybe it was time that he started letting go too.

"Are you ready to go?" a voice came from behind Satoshi. He looked up seeing that the voice belonged to his older brother.

"As ready as ever," Satoshi said picking up his school things and following his brother to the car. He was never ready for another school day. It was another day of pain and another day of torture. He would deal with it though.

Mori noticed that his little brother was feeling a little down in the dumps and he could completely understand that. He understood that Satoshi didn't want to go to school because he would have to be around Chika and Hana and that made him feel uncomfortable. He reached out a hand and placed it on Satoshi's shoulder.

"What Taka?" Satoshi said turning around to face his brother. He was surprised to see his brother wearing an expression of concern.

"You don't have to go to school today. You know that right? If you feel bad or nervous or you think it might trigger something you don't have to go. I can work it out with the chairman…" he was cut off by Satoshi.

"I know Taka, but I have to do this. I can't stay home forever. It wouldn't make sense. I have to keep up with things and I have to try to get my grades up so I can actually pass this term," Satoshi said as he continued to walk towards the car, "And you better hurry up or we are going to be late."

Both of them got in the car and were soon heading off toward Ouran Academy. Satoshi was nervous as they pulled up to the gates and he was unsure if his legs would be able to hold him up as he went into his classroom. He was nervous to say the least, but he tried not to show it. He should have known better though. He couldn't hide anything from his brother.

"I'm going to talk to my teachers. I'll have my cell phone on vibrate all day. Tell your teachers something. Give them a reason for you to have yours on. If you need me for anything just text me, OK?" Mori said. He was worried for his little brother and wanted to be there for him.

"Thanks, Taka, let's get this shit over with," he said as he parted ways with his brother and walked toward the middle school building. He was not looking forward to the day or sitting in class, but he knew he had to get through it. He walked into the room and sat down in his usual seat. Then Chika came in, with the beautiful Hana on his arm. Satoshi winced. He didn't want to be here right now. He didn't want to see what was going to happen but he knew he had to sit through class if he was going to get his grades up.

"You are so funny Yasuchika," Hana said smacking her boyfriend on the arm. He was being funny in a really serious sort of way.

"How is my martial arts tournament funny?" Chika asked looking at Hana. He loved her, but she could be really dense sometimes. He looked over to see his best friend looking over notes before class began. "Hey there Satoshi. How…." He was cut off by Hana.

"Well it was more cute than anything silly. I think it's awesome how you are so into all that stuff. It almost makes me want to learn some," Hana said wanting her boyfriend to focus on her.

"Almost is your key word there," Chika said. He sat down as the bell rang and took out his notebook and pencil. Soon Satoshi threw something on his desk. It was a pink piece of paper. Chika opened it to find it was a note from Hana. He jotted something down and handed it back to Satoshi who threw it on Hana's desk.

Satoshi was sitting quietly in math when he felt someone tap his arm. He looked over to see Hana holding out a pink piece of notebook paper. He took it very unwillingly and threw it on Chika's desk. A few moments later he was being tapped again and Chika was handing him back the note. To his relief Hana didn't write anything back and Satoshi was able to concentrate on the rest of the lesson. He hated sitting between those two. He was always passing their notes and every time he passed a note he felt like it was a slight twist of the knife in the wound. Thankfully the day went by with minimal note passing. Then came lunch. Satoshi had gotten used to it by now. He would stay in the classroom and eat his lunch alone while Chika and Hana went down to get some food and chat together about whatever was in those stupid notes. He sat at his desk and watched them walk away as Hana giggled and Chika rolled his eyes.

The rest of the day passed by smoothly and then before Satoshi knew what was happening the bell was ringing for them to go home. His brother had Host Club today so that meant that Satoshi would be going home alone. He was about halfway to the car when he heard someone behind him. He turned around and saw that the person behind him was Chika.

"Hey there Satoshi," Chika said walking up next to his friend.

"Hey," Satoshi responded trying to sound casual. He really didn't want to see Chika right now, but knew he had little choice in the matter so he would play along.

"So Hana is coming over tonight. It was so awesome last time. We kissed! She is a really good kisser I won't deny it," Chika said looking over at his buddy.

"Cool," Satoshi said hoping to get to his car soon. He didn't want to do anything he was going to regret.

"Well here is my car, I'll see you tomorrow, Satoshi," Chika called and Satoshi nodded as he jumped into his own car. The car sped home but not fast enough. Satoshi was on the verge of tears. Tears of anger. He hated Chika for what he did. And Chika hadn't been helping the situation by constantly giving updates of his new relationship. Satoshi wished that Hana had never come to Ouran and that his former best friend had never taken an interest in the girl. He wished he hadn't thought he actually had a chance with someone like Hana. The car pulled up to the estate and Satoshi jumped out and ran inside. He was running and running not really knowing where to go. He found himself in the kitchen again and there he saw it, a knife laying on the counter. He slowly walked over to it and picked it up.

**A/N: So what will happen?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So here is chapter 5 of FOMA. I don't own ouran. Thanks so much to mcangel1976 for helping me with this chapter.**

Satoshi looked down at the knife in his hand. He gently rolled up the sleeve on his arm and looked at the cuts there. 'It won't hurt to trace over a few,' he thought. 'NO you can't do that. You are stronger than that.' Satoshi looked at his arm. 'Remember how it made you feel when you did it. You were relaxed it was fine. Everything was alright after you did that. Just one more time. It can't hurt anything.' Satoshi lifted up the sleeve on his other arm. 'See look you can do this. You have done it before just a swift motion and all the pain will be over. Just do it.' Satoshi stared at his arm, ' No I can't continue doing this. I won't do it I can't do it.' Somehow though he felt the blade come down on to his arm. He applied pressure. Satoshi then did something unexpected. He pulled the knife back, and stabbed it down into the butcher block on the top of the counter.

Then he ran. He ran as far away from that place as he could get. He dashed through the gardens going into them deeper and deeper. He was running along at a fast pace with no intention of stopping. He was running so fast he didn't notice the rock in his way and soon Satoshi found himself lying on the ground looking back up at the cherry tree he had been under that very morning. And that's when it came. The tears that he had been holding back were now streaming down his face. He was so angry and so sad and everything was running through his head at once. He looked around. The only thing he could see were the sharp rocks sticking out of the ground or the broken sticks lying everywhere. 'No NO! You can't think like that,' he thought as he whipped out his cell phone. He needed someone and he needed someone now. He scrolled through and shocked himself a little bit when he dialed Mitsukuni. The phone rang a few time and then Satoshi heard a click signaling that the phone had been picked up.

"Sato-chan?" Hunny asked sounding surprised that his cousin was calling. He hoped it wasn't anything bad.

"Mi-mitsukuni. C-can we meet somewhere? I ne-need to talk, and I-I just can't be alone. Please, c-can you m-meet me at th-that park about a, a block from my house," Satoshi said trying to regain some composure, but failing. He was in a panic.

"Of course. I'll see you there in five," Hunny said texting for a car to come around at the same time.

"Ok see you," Satoshi said and hung up the phone.

nHu

Hunny saw the car coming around and immediately jumped in. He knew that there had been something going on with his little cousin, but he was seriously worried about how panicked Satoshi had sounded on the phone. It had to be something deeper and more complex than your everyday problem. Before Hunny knew it they were pulling up to the park. Hunny got out and started to walk. It didn't take him long to see Satoshi sitting under a tree a little ways off. Hunny jogged over and slowed to a walk before he got to his little cousin. He tried to calm himself, it did little good. The expression that Satoshi was wearing scared Hunny. He had never seen his younger cousin look so dejected. He walked over and stood near his cousin for a moment before speaking up.

"Satoshi?" was all he said and the younger man looked up at him.

"Thank-you, Mitsukuni. For coming that is," Satoshi said.

"Mind if I sit down?" Hunny asked. Satoshi motioned for him to sit down. Hunny sat down next to his cousin and looked at him, "What you want to talk about?"

"I assume that my brother told you about my issue?" Satoshi said.

"He told me you have to deal with some stuff, but he didn't go into details," Hunny said getting curious now.

"I see. Well here is the stuff I am trying to deal with," Satoshi said lifting up both his sleeves.

"SO what you want to talk to me about?" Mitsukuni asked. He was shocked that something so bad had happened to his little cousin. Something so bad it had driven Satoshi to do this.

"I have been getting some help and I've been doing really well so far, but today I almost relapsed. I wanted to cut so bad and I didn't. I was having a mental battle with myself and there was a voice inside that just kept telling me to do it and get it over with and that everything would be better. It scared me. I'm scared of myself! It's so scary and I don't know how to stop being afraid of myself. And why the hell isn't my family scared of me? Why the hell do they still love me? I'm so messed up. Wouldn't it be easier for them to just disown me and pretend that I don't exist? They could go on and be happy without having the family screw- up there always needing help from them," Satoshi said tears rolling down his face. He felt arms go around him and pull him into a hug.

"I understand," Hunny said looking at Satoshi, "But you aren't a family screw up. You are just facing a tough time in your life and are trying to get through it. I had to do the same thing when I had to decide to join the Host Club or not. At the time I was trying to be very manly to live up to my father's standards, but that wasn't who I was. My father didn't care about that though. He wanted me to be a Haninozuka in every way and never show any sign of weakness. I had to risk possibly being disowned to show my true self. That is where you are lucky Satoshi. Your family does love you. They can't stop loving you because they have loved you for so long already. It would be utterly impossible for them to stop loving you. I don't think they can be afraid of you Satoshi. IF anything they are worried about you. They don't want to lose you Satoshi. Just like I don't want to lose you either," Hunny said. Hunny sat there as Satoshi sobbed into his arms. Soon Satoshi sat up and started to dry his eyes on his shirt.

"I just wish that Hana had never come to Ouran. My life would be so much less complicated if she hadn't have come into the school. And now Chika is dating her and I'm just a mess because of it. And it just sucks. Why did he have to get her? Why couldn't I have gotten her? Why does your brother have to be so damn thick all the time? And why does he have to give me updates? Today I just freaked out cause he was going on about how good of a kisser she was and how she was coming over tonight. Like, UGH, I don't need to hear about every detail, " Satoshi said looking at his older cousin.

"He is pretty thick. Trust me nothing you says really gets through to him. Even if you drop hints and stuff that you would like to do something or be with someone. He hurts people's feelings, sometimes intentionally, like calling me an alien and sometimes unintentionally, like dating Hana instead of letting you try to have a chance with her. He is just excited by the fact he finally has a girlfriend, but I can relate when you say you don't want to hear everything that goes on between those two. And, Satoshi, look at me," Hunny said as his cousin's gaze came to meet his, "You are the kind of person that deserves another person much more amazing than Hana."

"Mitsukuni, could we keep this just between us. Can you promise not to tell my brother? I mean if he asks if we have been hanging out tell him we have, but please don't tell anyone what we are talking about. I just don't want anyone to know about this. Not just yet," Satoshi said hoping that his cousin would understand.

"I promise I won't tell anyone," Hunny said, "Call me anytime you need me and I'll be there as fast as possible." Hunny was thinking about how much he wanted to pummel his little brother for being an ass and not realizing how his best friend was feeling.

They parted ways, Satoshi had decided it was best that he walk home so Taka wouldn't suspect anything. As he was walking home Satoshi felt a bit lighter. He felt a bit better. He smiled a small smile to himself. 'This time I got the same feeling and I didn't have to hurt myself to bring it about.'

**A/N: Aw yay Hunny was able to help Satoshi. Big huge awesome thanks to mcangel1976! Hope you all enjoy!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So here is the next chapter. I am sorry it took me a little to update hit a writer's block. Big thanks to mcangel1976 for helping me out and to all of those who read and reviewd! I don't own Ouran and never will ****. On with the story though.**

Satoshi was walking home when he saw his brother pulling up to the front of the house. He didn't want it to seem that there was anything wrong with him, so Satoshi walked at a normal pace and caught up with his brother halfway to the door.

"Where were you?" Mori suddenly asked making his brother jump a little.

"Needed to clear my head so went for a walk to the park," Satoshi said. He knew he wasn't lying. He had gone to the park and walked a little, he had just also talked with Mitsukuni. "How was your day Taka?"

"It was well. I had to entertain the ladies at Club though. Mitsukuni got an unexpected call and had to go take care of some family matters. It was a little difficult trying to entertain by myself, but the ladies seemed to enjoy it," Mori said. Something seemed off about Satoshi and it worried Mori. He quickly used his peripherals to see if there was any blood stains on his little brother's shirt. He didn't see any and his mind relaxed a little.

"Hm I wonder what he had to take care of. I hope everything is alright," Satoshi said trying to hide his fear that his brother would find out what had happened. He didn't want anyone else to know just yet, because he had found that no one else could understand the way his older cousin did.

"I hope everything is alright too. Shall we go practice in the dojo a bit before dinner?" Mori asked his little brother. He knew that the best way to get Satoshi to stop thinking about something was to get him to do something else.

"No thanks I have a lot of homework and I just took a long walk in the park, so not feeling et it nowup to moving around. Would you mind helping me with some history though?" Satoshi asked. He had already walked and ran and was emotionally drained. He hoped that his brother bought it, and to his relief he did.

"Sure, no problem," Mori said looking at his little brother. He was seriously worried now. Satoshi didn't get tired after walking. He knew that pushing the subject though was not going to help anyone especially his brother. They went inside and got to work on the history homework. Mori enjoyed helping his little brother and they seemed to have a good time doing so. They chatted for a little bit while finishing their other assignments. Occasionally Satoshi would ask Mori for help on a problem or ask him how high school was and if he would like it.

"Little brother the desks are the same in high school. You sit at them and take notes as you do any other desk," Mori answered calmly, but inwardly sighing. Mori thought Satoshi might turn into another Kyouya if he kept asking so many questions and taking in so much intel. Just then Mori looked up to see his brother pinching the bridge of his nose.

Satoshi took a deep breath. And then exhaled trying to relax while he was being scrutinized by his brother's eyes. He was worried about tomorrow, he was worried about how his brother would react if he found out where Mitsukuni had been, and he was scared. Just scared.

"Hn?" Mori questioned looking at his little brother.

"Tomorrow, I am just nervous for it. I don't know if I can do it," Satoshi said. He was referring to the first therapy session they were going to have as a family.

"We are all going to be right there for you," Mori said not knowing that this was only going to make things worse.

"See that is just it though. You are all going to be there and you are all going to see how messed up I am. Then mom and dad will disown me and you won't think twice about talking to me again. And everyone will just see that I'm not meant to be here and I shouldn't be accepted in this family," Satoshi said as he felt some tears roll down his face. He quickly swiped them away and simultaneously felt strong arms wrap around him. He relaxed into the arms of his big brother. He felt sleepy and he didn't fight it. Soon Satoshi was slipping into a peaceful sleep in his brother's arms.

Mori felt his little brother relax and soon heard the soft breaths of Satoshi. Mori looked down to see that Satoshi was sleeping. He carefully stood up with his brother in his hands and walked across the hall to the bedroom. Once there Mori placed his brother on the bed and being very careful not to wake Satoshi, got the button down shirt off his brother. He then lifted the covers and put Satoshi under them. Mori tucked them around his baby brother and before he left gave Satoshi's hair a soft ruffle. Satoshi stirred a bit and rolled over, but was defiantly asleep. As Mori walked out of the room he looked back and smiled at his baby brother sleeping peacefully. Satoshi smiled a little obviously having a better dream than what had just happened or what had been happening lately. Mori knew that tomorrow would be tough, but he knew that they would get through it as a family, they had to. He couldn't bear the thought of going through every day without seeing his brother's smile.

Mori walked back to his room and sat down on his bed. He put his head in his hands and just let his thoughts come to him. He was worried. More than worried he was scared out of his mind. 'What if I haven't done enough? What if in the end my love wasn't enough for Satoshi? What if something happens and we lose him?' Mori thought sitting on his bed. 'What if I don't get to see that smile anymore? My heart would break. My world would change, and I would always wonder if there would have been something I could have done. He has to fight. I just hope he knows that I know he can and I have his back the whole way through this, wherever that may lead,' Mori drifted off to sleep at this last thought.

Hunny sat at his desk trying to work on the assignment he had due the next day. Even he couldn't concentrate on math though, despite it being his favorite subject. He was thinking about what had happened at the park that day. He wanted to go into the adjacent room and pummel his little brother to a pulp. Chika was an idiot for not knowing that he was hurting his best friend, and he was even more of an idiot for dating that bitch of a girl. Hunny wondered though if that had been enough to drive Satoshi to hurt himself. 'What happened to him. I had noticed a change in him lately, but I thought it was just teenage stuff. I wonder how all of this got started? Even if that is the reason I can't fathom why Satoshi would do that to himself. He seemed too happy to do something like that. Then again I did try to be strong to please my father and it seemed to work for most people around me,' Hunny thought leaning back in his chair. He clasped his hands behind his head and looked up at the ceiling. 'Hang in there Satoshi. For just a little longer. Chika will come to his senses soon, in some way. So, please, Satoshi just be strong. My brother may be an idiot and not know what he is doing, but he isn't a cruel person. Forgive him for his for what he has done. Don't do anything , Satoshi, because none of us could bear to lose you. In the end it will be alright, I promise,' Hunny thought a tear sliding down his cheek.

**(the next day)**

Satoshi woke up the next morning in his bed. He sat up confused as to why he was in his bed and why he didn't have a shirt on. He rubbed his neck and tried to remember how he had gotten into bed. He thought back over the events of the previous night. There was Mitsukuni, and then he had come home, and then there was Taka hugging him, and then…he figured he must have fallen asleep and then Taka put him to bed. HE smiled to himself being thankful that he had such a great older brother. He hopped out of bed and ran to the shower to get ready for the day. He was nervous as hell for what would come after school, but he was going to be brave and try to do his best not to be nervous. He got dressed and dashed down the hallway after looking at his watch realizing that he was going to be late. He rushed past the kitchen grabbing some toast and a mug of tea and was out the door. He managed to catch up with his older brother halfway down the walkway.

"Morning," Mori said as he felt his little brother run up beside him. He looked over and laughed inwardly at the sight of Satoshi.

"Morning, Taka," Satoshi said taking the piece of toast out of his mouth. The brothers got into the car and relaxed as it pulled out of the driveway. Mori looked at his little brother and noticed that he looked frazzled.

"Satoshi?" he asked and his little brother turned his gaze on him.

"I'm fine Taka. Just worried about this afternoon, but I'll get through it somehow. Can I ask a favor though?" Satoshi said resting his head in his hand.

"Yeah anything."

"When we go today can I sit more near you. I just don't know how mom and dad will react and I would just feel safer."

"You got it, Satoshi," Mori said giving his little brother a rare smile.

As usual they walked through the front gates together and then split off to the separate buildings. Satoshi went into class and took a deep breath before taking his seat in between Hana and Chika. He sat down and got out his things. Soon enough the note passing began. It was bad today. Whatever the two love birds had to talk about it was important. Important enough that for the good portion of class Satoshi was handing pink notebook paper back and forth between the two. By the time lunch rolled around Satoshi wished that he was at therapy. At least there even if he did have to talk about his problems he didn't have to deal with the actual people that were causing the problems. He sat there and ate by himself. He just mulled over his thoughts wondering what the afternoon would bring. Just then the bell rang and he got out his notebook for math. Hana and Chika reentered and sat down. Soon the note passing started again and Satoshi wished he could just run out and read one of these to see what was more damn important than school. After passing what seemed like a whole notebook worth of paper and hearing enough giggles from Hana that he could deduce what a girl's slumber was like, the bell rang. Satoshi bolted for the door and made it out before Chika or Hana could catch up with him. He met Taka in the courtyard and they walked to the car together. Satoshi stiffened as they approached the car.

"They aren't going to hurt you," Mori said referring to their parents sitting in the car. Both kids got in the car.

"Hey there guys how are you?" Akira asked looking at his two sons. He could tell Satoshi was nervous and he could understand why.

"Tired," Satoshi responded sliding over.

"Hn," Mori responded.

They headed off to the therapists office. Satoshi was nervous the whole way there, but he tried not to show it. He wanted to be brave and not show that he was scared of what was going to happen in that room in approximately twenty minutes. He didn't want his family to know anything about the situation. At least not right now and not more than they already knew. He was unsure how to react to this and he wished that the therapist had gone over it in a little more detail.

(meanwhile at the host club)

"Mommy where is Mori- senpai?" Tamaki wailed. He was wondering where the silent man was and how Hunny was fairing without his counterpart.

"He had some family matters to take care of and being the heir of his family I think they would be a bit more important at the moment," Kyouya said pushing up his glasses as they glared. Tamaki shrank back into the corners and started to grow mushrooms as he looked over at Hunny. The oldest host didn't seem that bothered about the absence of his silent counterpart. Tamaki decided that Hunny must know what was going on and decided that he would try to find out. he wandered over to that side of the room an d approached Hunny.

"Hunny-senpai? Where is Mori-senpai?" Tamaki asked.

"Didn't you hear Kyo-chan? He had family business. I am fine here by myself today," Hunny said in his most menacing voice making Tamaki run back to his corner of woe.

(Chika)

Chika had just gotten out of Karate club and was still pondering one question: Where was Satoshi? He hadn't been the last week either. It was starting to worry Chika. Once was something but missing Karate twice was something that Satoshi never did. Chika was walking when he ran into someone and as he looked up he realized that it was his girlfriend.

"Watch out there sweetie. You are lucky I wasn't a thug," Hana crooned to him like he was a five year old.

"Hana I highly doubt there are any thugs on Ouran Academy's property, but thank you for your concern," Chika said. He shoved his hands in his pockets. He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked over at his girlfriend.

"I asked you if you were OK?" she asked again studying her boyfriend with a worried look. Something was off about Chika and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

"It's just Satoshi missed practice again and I am getting worried about him. He never misses this much. Do you mind if we go to the high school building? His brother might know where he is," Yasuchika said looking at his girlfriend.

"Sure hun. If it will make you feel better. And then we can take my car to wherever we want. I was thinking shopping," she said smiling to herself. They walked off to the high school building and soon came upon music room three. They opened the door and Chika looked inside.

"Hey there Chika-chan," Hunny called over to his brother. He was hiding his true feelings of wanting to slap his brother right then and there for being so dense.

"Where is Takashi I need to speak to him," Chika said looking at his older brother.

"He isn't here he had to take care of some family business. What did you need him for maybe I can help," Hunny said.

"Satoshi missed practice again today. I'm getting really worried. What do you think has happened?" Chika asked.

"Sato-chan had to probably go along, too and he just forgot to tell you," Hunny said. 'Finally he is realizing something is off about his best friend. Maybe things get through that thick head faster than I thought,' Hunny thought as he observed his brother.

"Thank you. See Chika it was nothing to worry about. Just some family matter. Probably a last minute dinner party or something that they had to go and get ready for. We will see you all later," Hana beamed as she dragged her boyfriend away.

"Yeah you are right Hana. Probably just a dinner party," Chika said repeating what she had said. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was off though. His brother had seemed his normal happy self, but Chika felt there was something he wasn't being told. He figured if he did find out the news wasn't going to be good.

**A/N: So there is chapter six. How will they do in therapy? I guess you will have to find out! R&R**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: so here is chapter seven….I can't believe we are already on chapter seven. I hope you enjoy, and I don't own Ouran sadly.**

Satoshi was nervous as they pulled up to the counseling center. He looked over at his brother who gave him a reassuring nod. Satoshi tried to relax, but it was hard with his parents there. He wondered why they even had to be there. Couldn't it just be him and his brother? That would be optimal, and then Taka could just tell their parents everything that went on. That would be a lot less stressful for him. He knew though that like his first therapy session he would have to try his best to get through it.

Walking in, went to the office. Akira checked them in, and the family sat down and waited. Satoshi was a bit fidgety, but tried to conceal it by reading something. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over to see his brother. Takashi gave his little brother a warm smile, and in return received a nod signaling that everything was going to be OK.

A few moments later the family was called back and Satoshi's stomach knotted. He had suddenly become unsure of everything that was happening. Satoshi slinked along at the back of the group, but soon they were all sitting down in the room and the session began.

"One thing before we start," Dr. Yazu said. Satoshi gulped. Was he going to reveal everything that they had talked about? Was he going to tell the family that he should be locked up for good because he was a crazy person? The next words out of the doctor's mouth surprised Satoshi. "We have to remember we are trying to help Satoshi, so let us keep him at the front of these discussions." Everyone in the room nodded and the session officially began.

"So are there any problems at home that we need to discuss?" Yazu asked.

"No, not that I can think of. Everything is going just fine," Akira said.

"No, nothing," Fuyuko responded casually.

"No," Mori responded.

Then Yazu's eyes turned to Satoshi and the young teen shook his head, but gave the doctor a look. Yazu interpreted it to mean the young man had something to tell him, but he wasn't quite ready to have everyone know about it. That was OK, maybe Satoshi would be more willing to open up one- on- one.

"Akira how do you feel about what has happened?" Yazu asked looking at the father.

"When I first found out I was worried. I am still worried because I feel this isn't like Satoshi. He has always been very strong, and I am confident that he can be strong again, but I am at a loss of how to help him get there," Akira said stealing a glance at his youngest.

"Takashi, how do you feel?" Yazu inquired. He was curious to see what the older, quieter brother had to say about this.

"Similar to my father I am worried. I am also scared that he will hurt himself again," Mori said out loud, but the unspoken words in his head were_, to the point where I may have to attend his funeral_. "I do not know what I can do to help my brother, but I will do everything that I can to help him. I know he can be strong again, and I want to help him get there in whatever way I can."

"Fuyuko?" Yazu asked not knowing how the woman would respond. She did what he expected and started to cry.

"I feel scared and frightened. I constantly question why would he do this to himself? It is so unlike him! And then I started questioning myself and if I had done something wrong. I mean what if in the end he ends up doing something horrible? I am afraid that this may be a gateway to other things. What if he becomes a drug addict? What if he joins a gang and ends up being a thug for the rest of his life? What if he ends up in prison because things got out of hand? I'm worried that we won't be able to rescue him from this downward spiral he has entered into," she wailed looking at her baby.

"Maybe she should pop a few Xanax every now and then," Satoshi muttered just loud enough so that Takashi could hear him too, but softly enough that no one else could.

Mori smiled inwardly. It took a lot of willpower not to laugh at what his brother had just murmured. He was glad Satoshi was back to at least making funny comments on things that their mother said.

"Satoshi how do you feel about what they have just said?" Yazu asked. He saw the kid's brow knit together.

"Well I guess I would want to speak to my mom first. Mom, this is not a gateway to other things. I won't join a gang and become a thug, sorry but the Yakuza is not in my future. And I'm not on a downward spiral. If anything I'm on an upward spiral to getting better since I am here getting help," he said looking at her. He could count down in his head when she would react, and he could predict what her reaction would be. He was right.

"Oh my darling I am so glad. Mommy was worried that you were on a horrible path that only led to a horrible outcome for your life and would lead you to ultimate destruction," she cried getting up and hugging her child. She let go and kissed him on the forehead. Satoshi couldn't help but smile a little at his mother's absurdness.

"Anything else you want to say Satoshi?" Yazu asked.

"I am going to give it everything I have to get better. I am going to try my hardest," Satoshi declared looking at his whole family. They all nodded and gave him a small smile.

There was nothing else to be said after that and time was up, so the family was done for the day. As they walked out the door, Yazu told them that he would make another appointment soon.

The family walked down to the car and rode home in silence. They were all a bit on edge about what had happened. When they got home all of them headed into the dining room for dinner, which was eaten in silence. After dinner Fuyuko and Akira excused themselves, and Mori decided to head off to his bedroom. When he was about halfway down the hall he felt a hand around his wrist. He looked back to see his brother looking at him.

"Can we take a walk? I want to talk to you about something," Satoshi spoke with a look of seriousness in his eyes.

"Yeah," Mori said following his little brother into the gardens. He thought he knew what his younger brother wanted to talk about, but would wait for him to speak.

As soon as they were away from the house Satoshi turned to his brother, and asked a one word question, "Why?"

"Why?" Mori asked slightly confused.

"Why are you scared that I am going to hurt myself again?" Satoshi asked looking at his brother. He wanted to know. He hadn't the faintest idea that his brother had been scared. Satoshi wanted his brother to know that it was OK to be scared.

"Because it just scares me to think that you would do something like that, and I just want know how I can help you. I don't know what you're thinking, so I can't know if something is going to happen that will make you do that again," Mori answered honestly.

"Taka you have to talk to me about these things. Don't keep them locked up. That won't help either of us. I won't act any differently around you. But you have to talk to me or I won't be able to help you understand. I'm not thinking about that anymore. I asked for the help. I want to get better, and that is what I am focused on now," Satoshi declared as he turned to his brother and put his arms around him. Taka had given him so many hugs lately it was time he returned the favor.

Mori was shocked when he felt his brother's arms go around him, but he didn't mind. He had been in need of a hug a hug for a while now, and it felt good. He put his arms around Satoshi embracing him back.

They stayed like that for a moment or so before they broke apart. When they broke apart, they stared at each other for a moment silently communicating.

Finally Satoshi broke the silence. "So I know you must have heard what I muttered about mom? She was totally off the wall. I said that in all seriousness," Satoshi stated shaking his head. His mother could be very odd sometimes.

"She was a little hyper about the whole thing wasn't she?" Mori asked.

"A little? 'What if he joins a gang and becomes a thug?'" Satoshi mimicked. "Yeah mom sure; let me just call up the Kasanoda syndicate and ask if I can join up to become part of the Yakuza, because that is soooo me."

Mori looked over at his little brother. "I'm not too worried about you becoming a thug, Satoshi," he grinned. Just then Mori heard something that he hadn't heard in a long time. His brother's tenor laugh broke out.

"I'm glad you don't think that bro. If you did I might have to knock some sense into you," he said still laughing.

Mori smiled at this and gave a deep baritone chuckle. Everything was going alright tonight. He was happy that his brother hadn't forgotten how to laugh.

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update this was a crazy hard chapter! Made the end a little lighter. Look for the next chapter soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

Hunny looked at his cell phone. He hated to be woken up early, especially on a weekend. When he looked to see who it was, his heart skipped a beat. It was Satoshi. Immediately answering the line, Hunny hoped that he would not hear the same panicked voice on the other line. To his relief the voice on the other line was not freaking out, but it did sound hurt and that broke his heart.

"Can you meet me at the park in half an hour Mitsukuni?" Satoshi asked hoping that his cousin would be able to come.

"Anything Sato-chan! Same place? Ok I will be there," Hunny declared as he hung up the phone. He prayed that it wasn't anything serious because he didn't know if he could see his little cousin so broken again.

Satoshi hung up the phone and quickly slipped out the kitchen door with a sandwich in hand. He was feeling OK today, but needed someone to talk to because he felt the need get something off his chest; and he knew Mitsukuni was the one person that he could tell almost anything to. Walking to the park slowly, he ate his sandwich and when he got there, he squatted under the same tree to await his cousin. He watched some birds flying around overhead, and felt a little more relaxed than he had before. One bird flew down and started to peep at him. Satoshi looked over and gave the bird a small smile. He could almost tell what it was thinking: it wanted food. Grinning, he ripped off some of the crust from the bread and placed it in front of the bird. His small feathered friend happily chirped as it ate the food offering; and when it was done it once again looked up at Satoshi. Chuckling a little, Satoshi ripped off some more crust and gave it to his little friend.

Hunny pulled up to the park in his car, deciding it was probably best to drive himself to the meeting instead of bringing more attention and calling a driver. As soon as he was done parking, he rushed out hoping that everything was OK. Even though his cousin didn't sound panicked, Hunny was still worried that something bad had happened to Satoshi. Walking towards the tree that they were to meet at, he easily spotted his cousin sitting there. As Hunny looked on, he could tell there was something different about the youngest Morinozuka. Studying the young man, Hunny realized that Satoshi was feeding a bird some bread, and it seemed to relax him. Hunny saw some semblance of peace on Satoshi's face, and that helped him to relax a bit as he made his progression towards the tree. When the blonde man was almost upon the tree, Satoshi's head popped up and he motioned his cousin to move closer and sit down. Hunny obliged and sat still for a bit when he got there.

"I just don't know who to talk to. I feel like if I talk to my therapist, he will have me tell my parents; and if I talk to my parents, they will freak out," Satoshi blurted out breaking the silence.

"What are you talking about Sato-chan?" Hunny asked thoroughly confused as to what his cousin was saying.

"My parents have started treating me differently at home. They watch me like a hawk and it is too much. They are trying to help, and I applaud them for that, but it's not helping. It just adds to the stress of things and I don't know how to tell them to stop. I don't even know if they can stop," Satoshi let the words fall out of his mouth. He had asked his cousin to come here for a reason and he wasn't about to hide anything from him.

"I see. They are only treating you that way because they love you Satoshi. They want the best for you and are concerned that you may do something again; and if you did, they are terrified that they won't be able to help you. You know I am always here for you and when something like that bothers you, you can always come to me and vent. I will stand beside you and behind you whenever you need me," Hunny declared looking at Satoshi.

Nodding his head to show Hunny he heard him, he murmured, "I know." He turned to look at the bird and sighed. "And then there is Taka. I didn't know he was so scared. It is ok to be scared, but I don't know how to handle it anymore. If I am having feelings that I want to hurt myself again, I don't think I can go to him because I am afraid that he would become even more frightened and petrified. I can't do that to my own brother," Satoshi murmured looking down at the grass.

"If you have those feelings again you should go to him. Even though he may be scared he wants to help you, Satoshi. If you don't go to him you will shut him out and that will make him feel even worse and useless when it comes to helping you get through this. If you start to shut him out and something happens, he will feel that it is his fault and that he wasn't able to fulfill his purpose as a big brother: trying to help you," Hunny said looking at his cousin. Takashi cared about Satoshi, and Hunny wanted the younger man to know that. Shutting family out wasn't an option here. Hunny didn't have anything else to say so the two sat in silence for a while just letting things run through their heads.

Suddenly something broke the silence. It was a small chirping coming from beside Satoshi's leg. He looked down to see the bird hopping around looking for something more. Satoshi smiled and Hunny laughed at the situation before him.

"Sorry little guy, you ate all my crust already," Satoshi spoke softly looking at the bird. It continued talking to him. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Satoshi, and turning to his older cousin he inquired, "So how was your day Mitsukuni?"

"Sato-chan, you don't need to be polite. Worry about you," Hunny instructed the other teen.

"No really, how was your day? Did anything happen?" Satoshi asked hoping that there would be a funny tidbit that his cousin had to tell. He could do with some funny right now.

"Well in club the other day Tamaki got scared of the twins. They chased him around with a curse doll that wasn't even real, and he somehow managed to get himself on the chandelier. Kyo-chan tried to get him to come down by threatening to cancel our party. He still wouldn't come down, so I put on my scary face and yelled, 'You better get down or else!' He got of that chandelier quicker than a mouse," Hunny giggled recalling the memory. He then heard a hearty tenor laugh from beside him and turned to see his cousin cracking up.

"I love how he is so scared of you. I mean everyone that comes across you has good reason to be, but still. The fact that he is so petrified of this dark side you have just cracks me up. He is such an idiot. I mean just the fact that he somehow climbed up to a chandelier because of a curse doll makes me laugh at that moron," Satoshi chuckled dissolving into a full belly laugh once again.

Hunny started to laugh along with his cousin. He did find everything about the situation funny, and Tamaki was definitely an idiot. Hunny sat there for a while just laughing with his cousin, very glad that even after all Satoshi had been through, the younger man still had a desire to laugh.

**A/N: sorry this took me so long to update I was away for the weekend and could not tote my laptop along. Hope you enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I don't own ouran**

A week later Satoshi was trying to focus on the lesson that was being taught. He wasn't very fond of the lesson that was being taught. He wasn't very fond of trying to learn English. It was all confusing with all the rules and the this before that except after something else. 'And they think our language is hard to learn,' he thought putting his chin in his hand. Just then he felt someone tap him. He looked over to see Hana holding out a pink piece of paper. Satoshi looked at her and mouthed 'not now.' She looked at him and turned away. Satoshi sighed with relief maybe Hana did understand that he needed to pay attention. A few minutes later though he was being tapped again and he saw Hana holding out the same piece of paper. He shook his head no and she shoved it at him.

"Not now, Hana," he muttered through gritted teeth. He then saw the note land on his desk and looked over at Hana. She smirked and then kicked him hard in the shin. Satoshi slammed his fists down on his desk hard startling the whole class.

"Dammit. What the hell is wrong with you?" he spat at Hana. He didn't stop there though. "I am not passing anymore of your notes. If you want to pass notes to him that's fine, but do it around my back."

"I don't know what you are talking about. You must have hit your leg on the desk you aren't the brightest," Hana said remaining calm.

"What the hell? You have been passing notes through me for weeks on end. And now you deny it? Are you seriously that delusional thinking you have done nothing wrong? You're such a bitch. You deserve nothing more and nothing less than to be screwed over by the whole world in the end," Satoshi yelled in her face. By this time the whole classroom, even the teacher, had gone silent. No one had ever seen Satoshi this angry. Most of the kids in the class hadn't even known he was capable of being angry. Chika, however, was the one to break the silence.

"Calm down, Satoshi, no need to get mad over something so small," Chika said not knowing what impact his words had on his cousin.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?" Satoshi yelled rounding on his cousin, "How the hell am I supposed to be calm when this bitch is using me to pass notes to you?"

"She is a good person cut her some slack," Chika said trying to remain calm. He was scared of what his cousin could do right now, but he couldn't let Hana get hurt.

"A good person? She is about as good a person as you, you self-centered bastard. And why the hell are you dating her? Did you manipulate him in to dating you? What did you do to him you damn bitch?" Satoshi said standing up and rounding on Hana once again he had his hands in fists. Chika shot up at this concerned for his girlfriend's safety. He didn't want her to get hit so he reached out and grabbed Satoshi's arm.

"That's enough Satoshi. Apologize to her and let it go," Chika said his grip fairly tight on his cousin's arm.

"Let me go, Yasuchika," Satoshi snapped.

"I'm not letting you go until you back off and apologize to Hana," Chika huffed getting a bit angry himself.

"Then you leave me no choice," Satoshi spat. He turned around twisting his own arm a bit and then swiftly grabbed Chika's thumb and started to bend it. Chika immediately let go not wanting to have his hand damaged and got into a fighting stance. He didn't want to fight, but it seemed that Satoshi had left him no choice.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Chika shouted getting frightened of his best friend.

"Me? You are the messed up one here," Satoshi declared throwing a punch at his cousin. This was what Yasuchika deserved for messing up his life by dating that bitch. Chika dodged the punch and swept the feet out from under his cousin sending Satoshi to the floor. Satoshi was quickly back on his feet and threw a punch which connected with Chika's face making him stumble back a step.

"That is enough you two sit back down," the teacher ordered, but her words didn't get through to either of them.

"Let's take this outside," Satoshi challenged Chika. Chika nodded and both headed out of the classroom and into the courtyard.

"This needs to stop it's stupid Satoshi," Chika pleaded trying to get his cousin to calm down. The only response that Chika got was a punch to the stomach. He doubled over trying to catch his breath. Just then Satoshi tackled him to the ground and Chika didn't have time to defend himself from the flurry of punches that hit his face. Finally Chika managed to grab one of Satoshi's wrists and twist it backwards getting his cousin to stop for a moment. Chika took the opportunity to get his cousin off him and both were standing back up within moments.

Meanwhile, the teacher had gotten on the phone in the classroom and was calling the chairman's office. She told him what was going on and that he needed to get down here right away. He told the teacher that he would have his secretary call the parents. She rushed out to see what was going on. Both young men were on their feet now.

(mori)

Mori was walking when he felt his phone vibrate. He saw that it was from one of his brother's classmates and opened the text curious as to what they needed. It read: We need you and Haninozuka down here NOW. Satoshi and Yasuchika are in a fight in the courtyard. Mori's heart leapt into his throat at this statement. He ran off to find his cousin. A mad Satoshi was a bad thing for anyone.

(fight)

Chika aimed a kick that landed square on Satoshi's cheek. Satoshi tasted blood in his mouth and looked at his cousin. Satoshi wrapped his foot around Chika's leg and made a swift sweeping motion back towards his body knocking Chika off balance. As Chika fell he grabbed Satoshi's shirt hoping to take his cousin down with him. Both heard a ripping noise and Chika realized he was holding the bottom half of Satoshi's sleeve. He looked up at his cousin and gasped. Satoshi looked down at his arm and realized what was showing. He covered his arm and he ran as fast as he could from that place.

Mori and Hunny had come running when they heard that their brothers had gotten into a fight. Once there Hunny immediately went to Chika to make sure he was alright. Mori saw his brother running away from the scene and looked over at Yasuchika. He saw half a sleeve in his younger cousin's hand. He automatically knew what happened and took off after his younger brother.

Satoshi ran to the side of the school building. He was so upset with himself. He had just hurt his cousin. He didn't want to hurt anyone. Then he found himself searching for something and he didn't know what until he saw the glass bottle lying in the grass. Before he could comprehend what he was doing he smashed the bottle against a wall and then dropped it. He then fell to his knees and picked up one of the shards. He held it to his forearm took a deep breath and started to press.

"Drop it," he heard a calm voice come from behind him. Satoshi turned to see his older brother standing there.

"No, Taka. I have to do this. I have to let this happen. It will make everything be OK," Satoshi said looking at Takashi. He did have to get this over with. Just that little bit of pain to make everything OK wasn't going to hurt him. Just then he felt someone come in front of him. He looked up to see Taka crouched down in front of him.

"Stop, Satoshi. You are stronger than this. I know you. Don't let it overtake you, fight little brother. You can get through this. Satoshi, you don't have to hurt yourself. You are strong. Now put it down," Mori begged. He was almost crying, but knew he couldn't show it. He had to be strong, too. He looked up and saw that Satoshi had dropped the piece of glass.

"I'm sorry Taka," he cried, "I'm sorry I made you come after me. Everything is just too much. I can't handle it. Just everything that went on today it just makes me feel so angry at myself." Satoshi felt his brother help him up and guide him away from the glass. They both sank down on the ground and that is when Satoshi felt the strong arms of his big brother wrap around him. Satoshi let himself sit there and cry. Right now he couldn't control himself and he knew that was OK.

(back at the courtyard)

Hunny was checking over his little brother and saw that the damage Satoshi done was minimal. A few bumps and bruises were all that Chika had. Hunny looked up when he heard footsteps coming towards them. It was their parents. He swore inwardly, the last thing that Satoshi needed was his parents to be involved in this situation. Yorihisa ran over to his son to make sure that he was alright.

"Yasuchika do you think you have any serious injury?" Yorihisa asked his youngest son.

"Where did Satoshi go?" Akira questioned and Chika pointed in the direction that his cousin had run off.

"I'm fine dad, Uncle Akira?" Chika pleaded making his uncle hesitate to run after Satoshi.

"Yes, Yasuchika?" Akira asked. His stomach knotted as he saw half a sleeve in his nephew's arm.

"Is Satoshi OK? What happened to his arm?" Chika asked with worry trailing into his voice. He was truly worried about his friend. Satoshi had never been this angry or violent.

"Come here let's talk for a minute," Akira instructed sitting down next to his nephew. He knew that Yasuchika needed to know. Akira knew he needed to ask the younger man a question, after all the two were best friends and Yasuchika might be able to provide some information.

"What's going on?" Chika questioned sensing that what he was about to be told wasn't going to be something remotely good.

"Satoshi has been going through a rough time in his life. Is there _any _way that you may know what is going on with him?" Akira questioned hoping there would be a yes and an explanation as to why his child was doing these things. All Akira received was a shake of the head and his heart fell.

"But what happened to his arm?" Chika inquired, "Is Satoshi going to be OK?"

Akira looked at his brother- in- law and then ran a hand through his raven hair before responding to his nephew, "Yasuchika, Satoshi has been hurting himself. That's what you saw on his arm," Akira sighed as he saw Yasuchika's eyes widen, "He is getting help though. He will be alright Yasuchika. I have to go find him and Takashi though to make sure they are OK."

"Thank you uncle," Yasuchika stated as he watched his uncle run off in the direction that his cousin had gone.

(Mori and Sato)

Mori looked up as he heard someone approaching and saw that it was his father. He was a bit relieved and a bit scared. He didn't know how Satoshi was going to react to their father. Mori gave his father a look that communicated 'slow down.'

"Satoshi?" Akira asked cautiously approaching his son. Satoshi's head shot up and as soon as he saw who it was his eyes fell to the ground.

"I am sorry father. Please do not be angry with me," Satoshi stated in a rather flat tone.

"I'm not angry, but what happened? This isn't like you Satoshi, I'm worried. Tell me what happened back there with Yasuchika?" Akira pried wanting to know what was going on.

"His girlfriend was trying to pass notes. She has been doing this for a while. She kicked me and I got mad and went off on her. Chika tried to calm me down and then I lost it. He was only trying to defend her," Satoshi whispered. Then the tears started to come again and he sobbed as he looked at his dad. He didn't really understand why he did what he did. All Satoshi knew was that in the moment kicking the crap out of his cousin had seemed the right thing to do. "Please don't have me committed, Dad. Please don't lock me up."

Akira looked at his son with the last statement. He was severely worried now. It was very rare that Satoshi yelled at anyone and even rarer that he would yell at a girl. They needed to get him home and call the doctor. Something was very wrong. "I am not going to have you committed, kiddo," Akira said hugging his kid. He hoped it wouldn't have to come to that.

"Over here there is another way out," Mori said pointing to the end of the building, "That way you won't have to face Yasuchika again." 'What is going on with you little brother? What is Yasuchika's part in this? I'm not going to agree to commit you. I'll fight to keep you with us, but we have to figure this out soon before it destroys you,' Mori thought as he led them off school grounds and to the waiting car.

**A/N: So there is FOMA ch 9. A big big big thanks to mcangel1976….check out her stories too they are AMAZING! Also thank you to all who have been reading. R&R!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here we go with chapter 10 of FOMA. I hope you enjoy and I don't own ouran sadly.**

Once home Mori helped get Satoshi to his room. Akira had been on the phone on the ride home with the doctor. The doctor said that he would meet them at the house shortly. He rushed over there wondering what could have happened.

"Satoshi?" Mori asked cautiously looking at his little brother. He was worried and scared that something had snapped inside Satoshi that was beyond anyone's repair.

"I'm going to be OK, Taka. I just don't know what went wrong back there. I don't understand it. Why did I do that? Why did I hit him? What's happening to me?" Satoshi cried with panic in his voice. He wasn't sure how to handle this and he was positive Takashi was scared out of his mind right now.

"It's going to be OK. We are going to get this all sorted out. It's going to be OK, Satoshi," Mori said trying to convince himself more than his little brother.

"Please Taka. Don't let them disown me. Please keep me here. Don't let me get taken away, please, Takashi please," Satoshi pleaded with his older brother. He couldn't lose the safety of his brother, the only person that could keep him sane.

"We aren't going to have you taken away, Satoshi. You are going to be staying right here. No one wants you gone. We will figure this out together, Satoshi," as Mori stated this their mother came bursting into the room with their father following close behind.

"OH NO! Look at the bruises on my baby. I heard you got in a fight, Satoshi. Why would you do something like this to your mother? None of you ever listen to me. I told you that this cutting was a gateway to other things. Now he is getting into fights! He will be robbing a jewelry store before we know it. I know he will be brought up on charges for drug dealing. This is going to be much worse than all of us thought," Fuyuko chided. She was then interrupted by a soft voice.

"Stop it," Satoshi muttered.

"Stop?! Mommy is only trying to save you from a horrid lifestyle. Apparently we aren't doing everything we can since this happened. We need to be more aggressive in our action. If we do not take further action he will continue to be in the same state that he is, all messed up and such…" she was cut off by her son.

"Stop it! Just stop. You aren't helping. And if you want to see messed up why don't you go take a look in the mirror you idiot. You are the most messed up, psychotic mother that anyone could possibly have," he spat at his mother. He started to feel the anger rising in him again. He then felt a hand on his leg and looked over to see his brother looking at him with calming eyes. Satoshi took a deep breath and managed to calm himself down for a moment.

"Fuyuko let's go and talk," Akira said ushering his wife out of the room. He was shocked that Satoshi had been that harsh with her, but he couldn't blame his child right now. Satoshi had been through a lot and Fuyuko couldn't understand the half of it.

"Why the hell do I keep doing this?!" Satoshi yelled, "What's going on with me Taka? Why am I still here? Why haven't you kicked me out yet? I don't even have a purpose here anymore. I'm just a worthless fucking piece of shit! Just get rid of me. You don't need me! No one needs me."

Mori looked at his little brother and felt his throat tighten. He didn't want to cry in front of his brother, but at this point there was nothing that could stop the tears. Mori moved a bit closer to his younger brother. He couldn't say anything. There was nothing to be said so Mori did the only thing he could, he pulled his brother into a tight hug and let the tears pour out of his eyes. He was sobbing as he held onto his baby brother. 'Never say you are a worthless piece of shit. You are important Satoshi. I need you. I've needed you since I met you when you were first born,' Mori thought as he sat there and let all the emotions that had been pent up flow out.

**A/N: thanks to all who keep reading and reviewing. Look orthe next chapter very soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I do not own Ouran**

"What the hell is wrong with you Yasuchika?" Hunny huffed at his little brother. He could honestly not believe that Yasuchika had not even had an inkling this whole fight had something to do with him.

"Why? Why is my best friend hurting himself?" Chika asked close to tears. He couldn't understand why Satoshi would even think of doing something like that. It wasn't right. 'What happened that destroyed you to this point? Satoshi, what can I do to help you?' Chika thought. Just then he felt a hand connect with his face. He looked up to see the expression of his brother's face, he didn't like it at all.

"You aren't even listening to me! It's _your_ fault your best friend is like this. You can't even begin to fathom what he is going through. He hurt himself because he couldn't cope with the issues that he was having with you. Now that you find out you are all worried. Weren't you worried when your best friend stopped coming to see you? Weren't you worried when he seemed to go quiet? OR were you too wrapped up dating that vulgar girl to notice that your best friend was dealing with issues that are way beyond his years?" Hunny spat. He was breathing heavily now angry with everything that was happening and angry that his little brother was such an idiot.

"How long?" Yasuchika asked. He then felt his legs being swept out from under him and before he knew what was happening, Chika was lying flat on his back. He got up and looked at his brother for an answer. Before he got his answer Chika received a hand strike to his upper arm.

"I don't know the exact number, but I know it was a couple months. A FEW MONTHS CHIKA!" Hunny yelled slamming his fist into a wall, " A few months that Satoshi had to deal with this by himself. A few months until he was sensible enough to ask for help on his own. He shouldn't have had to go through all of that. YOU should have been there for him. He should have gotten help a lot sooner but you were too involved to notice you even had a best friend."

"Ow what the hell did you do to my arm?" Chika asked rubbing it. It hurt really bad and he looked at his older brother highly confused. He had seen Mitsukuni this mad before, but he had never seen his brother defend Satoshi so passionately.

"I inflicted the same pain on you that Satoshi was inflicting on himself. He did that to himself for months and there was no one he felt he could turn to. He felt it so many times. You saw his arm! It was destroyed. You saw how many cuts there were. Think of the pain on your arm that many times. Think of it," Hunny screamed. He then thought of something. He got one of the shinai from the cupboard. Running full force Hunny jumped in the air and brought the shinai down with full force on his brother's head.

"Ow stupid Sa-" Chika cut himself off when he realized what he was about to say. It had just dawned on him that Satoshi hadn't tried to beat sense into him for the past couple months. 'I am such an idiot. How could I not have seen this? How could I have not seen that not hitting me meant he was hurting?'

"And I wouldn't keep calling him your friend, Yasuchika. I don't know if he considers you an acquaintance anymore," Hunny said as he threw the shinai in front of his brother and walked out of the room. He had something more important to do. Hunny had to go and check to make sure Satoshi was doing alright.

Hunny jumped in the car and rushed over to the Morinozuka estate. He was more worried about Satoshi at the moment than he was about his younger brother. Once he got there he ran up the front walk to the door and rang the bell. Hunny didn't have to wait long before a maid opened the door and he rushed past her into the house. He ran down the hall until he came to Satoshi's room. When he got there his stomach knotted. Takashi was there and Hunny didn't want to explain why he was checking up on Satoshi. Just then Takashi looked over.

"Mitsukuni, what are you doing here?" Mori questioned confused why his cousin was there. 'Shouldn't he be with his brother right now? What happened to Yasuchika?' Mori thought.

"I just came to check on Satoshi because I was worried that he would…ummm…well," Hunny was lost for words. He couldn't spill Satoshi's secret. Hunny couldn't betray that trust to anyone even if it was Takashi.

"He came to make sure I was alright. He wanted to know if I had felt I needed to hurt myself again. Don't worry Mitsukuni, I didn't do anything. Takashi stopped me this time," Satoshi said. He felt eyes on him and knew that his brother was looking at him. It was time to spill. "I've been talking to Mitsukuni lately, Taka. The other day when I told you I took a walk in the park I was meeting with him. That was his family emergency. He came and talked to me because I asked him to. Chika had given me details about his relationship with him and Hana. I was so upset cause I don't want to know about those things. So I went into the kitchen and found a knife and I was about to cut and then I found the strength to stop myself and I ran outside. I couldn't think about anything else so I went to the park. I was scared of myself and what I was going to do. SO that is why he is here, Taka."

Mori just stared at his brother; he didn't want to believe what he was hearing. His brother had had those thoughts previous to today. He understood though. Mitsukuni had been through some of the same things emotionally and Mori was glad that Mitsukuni was there for his little brother.

"So you are doing alright then?" Hunny asked looking at his cousin.

"As well as can be expected. I blew up at my mum a little bit. She was getting on my nerves though and not helping. I sent her into a panic. Dad is with her now, but I've calmed down. I'm going to be alright. I'm just still confused as to why I did what I did. I don't know why I hit your brother. I don't know why I freaked out at my mom. I just scare myself sometimes because I don't understand why I am doing what I am doing," Satoshi said running his hand through his hair. He really was confused as to why he did some of the things that he did. Just then he felt himself being enveloped in small yet strong arms.

"I'm always here for you Satoshi. I'm here for you through this whole thing. You are going to make it through this and come out stronger on the other side. And whenever you need someone I will always be right here to help hold you up," Hunny said as he hugged his little cousin. He never wanted to let Satoshi go. After today Hunny was afraid if he let go, he might lose Satoshi all together.

**A/N: So chapter 11 yay! Now will Satoshi and Chika ever make up and become friends…..I guess you will just have to wait and see.**


	12. Chapter 12

"I don't know what to do," Satoshi sighed breaking the hug with his cousin, "I mean should I take a few days off school? I don't know if I can face all of them after what happened today."

"I think that would be wise if you took a couple says off for yourself, Satoshi," Hunny said looking at his little cousin, "You need some rest and you need a break; to be away from everything that happened at school."

"I think that would be a good idea. You need to sort things out brother. I will notify the chairman of your absence," Mori stated looking at his younger brother.

"And I just want to understand why I keep thinking these things. I want to understand why I am doing what I am doing. Usually you just read about something in a book if you want to understand, but I can't read a book on my own mind. I just don't know what to do about it, and it scares me to think that I might not be able to control anything I do from now on," Satoshi cried putting his head between his hands. He really was confused about why he kept doing these things. He wanted to understand what the drive was behind his actions and thoughts; what made his mind tick the way it did.

"We are going to sort things out. We will help you in any way that we can; you just need to let us know how we can help you. What can we do for you? What do you need?" Mori declared.

Satoshi gave them both a defeated look. He felt like he was out of control and didn't know how to get it back. If he knew how to help himself, he would be happy to tell the world, but he didn't. Lying back down, he turned over onto his side and spoke softly, "Can you two leave me alone for a little bit. I am really tired and just want to sleep."

Mori reached for his brother to try to reassure him, but Hunny stopped him. Looking over at his best friend, Mori shot him an unspoken question.

Hunny knew that Mori didn't understand his reasoning for stopping the touch, but something told him that Satoshi didn't want to be touched right then. He needed alone time right now and Hunny would do what he could to give him that. Grabbing Mori's arm, he gently tugged the giant out of the room and shut the door behind them.

Not wanting to be too far away from his brother, Mori directed Hunny towards his room. When they were both inside, he asked Hunny, "Why?"

"He is having a hard time sorting through things right now and needed to be alone. I don't think he wanted to be touched right now. He knows that you are there for him, but I also know that you didn't want to leave him. It was best to pull you out before anything else was said. He will be alright Takashi, but it will take time," Hunny explained.

"I know but after today I don't want to leave him anywhere by himself. What if he ends up doing something and I end up losing him? He told me that he was a worthless fucking piece of shit and that no one needs him. I need him though I need him more than anything. If I never heard that laugh again, if I never saw that smile, a part of me would die and it could never be revived. I promised him when he was born that we were going to be best friends, but if he isn't around then I'll just wander the world looking for something that could never be found or replicated, his love," Mori softly spoke looking down at the floor as a gentle tear slid down his face.

"But he didn't do anything Takashi. He won't die. Since he has told you about his problem, he has wanted to hurt himself so many times and he stopped himself. Today you stopped him, but he listened to you, Takashi. If he had really wanted to hurt himself, he would have done it regardless of what you wanted. Somewhere in that kid sleeping in the other room, there is the fun-loving happy kid that we all know. He wants to be happy again, he just needs time to get there and he needs our help. In turn we need to give him space though, pushing further and trying to comfort more than is necessary is not going to help. That will only push him away and that is when worse things can start to happen," Hunny explained looking at his cousin. "And Takashi, when you feel the time is right you must tell Satoshi what you have just told me. It may boost him up or it may not, but whatever it does, you need to communicate that to him." After saying that, Hunny left with a goodbye. He knew that both of his cousins needed to be left alone for a while so that they could think through the events that had happened.

Mori got ready for bed and got under the covers. He rolled over on his back and looked up at the ceiling letting out a sigh of defeat. He didn't really know what to do anymore, but his cousin had been right. He did need to tell Satoshi how he felt. Satoshi had even said that they needed to communicate their feelings. Mori just didn't know when the best time would be to do that. He sighed again and looked over at the wall that was shared with his brother's room, 'Please don't do anything. Please talk to me. Because if you close your book on life, then I won't be able to go on. Mine will naturally close, too. The thought of not seeing your smile or hearing your voice is too much weight for my heart to bear, and I would give up my will to live. Because if I can't wake up and see you every morning, then there really is no point in waking up at all.'


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So here is chapter thirteen sorry I have been terribly bust with exams and such. I do not own ouran.**

Satoshi woke up the next morning and looked around the room. He put his arm over his eyes and let out a groan as he remembered the events of the previous day. he didn't want to remember that he had beat up his best friend or the fact that his best friend had found out about what was going on with him. Satoshi just wanted to forget about everything that had happened. He would give everything to wish away the things that he had done and make them right. He didn't want to go to breakfast , but he was hungry so he decided that he should go down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. He stumbled out of his room in his boxers and started to wander down the hall half asleep. He perked up though when he heard two voices coming from his father's study. He crept over silently wanting to hear who was there and what was going on. Satoshi's eyes widened when he heard the voice of his dad and the psychiatrist that had evaluated him. He crept closer to the door trying to get a bit of the conversation in. He heard his dad speaking.

"Want him committed," Akira said. At this Satoshi's brow furrowed and his hands balled into fists. His dad had promised not to commit him and now he was going back on his word. Satoshi was angry. Had others lied to him too? What was his family actually thinking of him? Did they see him as a crazy person? he did the only thing that felt right and burst through the doors of the study.

"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ME COMMITTED! YOU SAID THAT! WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU BEEN LYING TO ME ABOUT? WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU NOT BEEN TELLING ME?" Satoshi yelled making his way towards his father.

"Satoshi?" Akira asked his voice mixed with shock and worry. He was surprised that his child had heard anything. 'I said I didn't want you committed kiddo,' Akira thought,' Please don't make me have to.'

"Are you afraid of me? Is that why you want to lock me up? Can you not handle me? Do you not want to handle me? FACE ME LIKE A MAN YOU COWARD," Satoshi said grabbing the collar of his dad's shirt, "Go ahead lock up the psychotic family screw up. I'll deal with it just like I have most other things. I'll deal with it alone. I don't need your love or your pity for that matter. So do whatever the hell you want." By this time Satoshi was taking sharp ragged breathes and he had pulled his father out of the chair by his collar.

"Enough," came a voice from behind Satoshi.

"And _you,"_ Satoshi spat at his brother, "You promised you wouldn't let them do this, you promised I would be safe and stay right here. So much for that." Satoshi rounded on his brother his eyes narrowed. He walked over to his brother and looked him straight in the eye. "You lying bastard," Satoshi snapped shoving his brother out of the way. Then Satoshi did the only thing he knew how to do, he ran out of the room.

Akira had run over to his oldest son, "Takashi are you OK?" he asked worried for his son. Akira was scared out of his mind right now. Whoever had just come into the study was not Satoshi. That was not his son. Satoshi would never do anything like that. Akira was seriously reconsidering the options about what to do with his youngest. He still didn't want to lock up Satoshi, but if things kept going on the way they were his little kiddo wouldn't leave him with much choice. When Akira turned back to his son he was shocked to see that Takashi had left, but he knew that Takashi was going after his little brother.

Takashi ran through the halls of the house. He was worried and he was scared. 'Please don't do anything you'll regret later Satoshi,' Mori thought. After racing through the halls he finally found his brother. "Satoshi?" he asked gently as he approached. he went slowly so he wouldn't spook his baby brother.

"Come to tell me more lies?" Satoshi asked looking up.

"No i came to set you straight," Mori said looking at his little brother.

"About what? You all clearly want me gone," Satoshi growled.

"You weren't there for the whole conversation. You only heard the tail end of dad's comment. Before you came in he said I DON'T want to commit him. we were fighting for you in there Satoshi. We were fighting for you to stay. it was the doctor that wanted to possibly commit you. I was holding up my end OK?"

"You're lying again aren't you?" Satoshi asked.

"I am not lying. I want you here, with us. I promised I would always tell you my feelings when you were upsetting me or scaring me. Well to show you I am not lying I will. I want you here with us, but you are worrying me Satoshi. With the fight yesterday and now this with dad. Satoshi this isn't you. This isn't who Satoshi is. And that scares me. You pushed me out of the way and that scares me too. I'm scared that this is destroying you. That it has taken you to the point where we can't help you anymore. I'm not scared that you are going to cut yourself again. I'm scared you might try to kill yourself, Satoshi. I'm scared that I won't have you around. I love you, no matter what part of life you may be in, I love you," Mori finished and looked at his little brother hoping that had gotten through.

"Are you OK? Did I hurt you?" Satoshi asked his head hung between his hands.

"A bruise or two, but I'll live," Mori answered. now he had to try to get his brother to see sense one more time, "You should go apologize to dad. He was really trying to defend you. The doctor does want to take you away and put you somewhere for a while, Satoshi. He said a few weeks. Dad and I have been in there for a few hours building up why you should stay with us. Dad was saying how he didn't want you to go and how he didn't want to commit you. You rushed in on limited information. Now, when we go back there to talk don't be surprised if the doctor has filled out some paperwork to have you committed against your will. he can do that and I want you to understand that if he has there is little that we can do to stop him from doing that," Mori looked at his little brother and earned a nod. They started to walk back to the study.

'What have I done?' Satoshi thought as they walked. He didn't want to be committed and he didn't know that someone like the doctor could put him in there against his will and he wouldn't be able to fight it. "I'm sorry," Satoshi said looking at Takashi.

"I know you are," Mori said. 'I just hope that can be enough,' he thought as he pushed open the door of the study.


End file.
